Running Ruminations

Any concerns I had about distance learning quickly went out the window last week as I turned my attention eastward in utter fear of the possibility that the enormous SCU Lightning Complex — the second largest fire in California state history, as of today — was going to encroach on east San Jose and force us to evacuate. Fortunately, that hasn’t happened — a big fortunately — but now, even after nearly a week and a half, the fires are still burning and are 20 percent contained. 

With the CZU Lightning Complex in San Mateo and Santa Cruz Counties, I think more than 70,000 people have evacuated, and tons of people have lost their homes (or are at risk). Up north, in the Napa and Sonoma area, the LNU Lightning Complex — the third largest fire in state history — has also forced many people to evacuate and has been responsible for several people’s deaths. The air quality in the Bay Area and throughout northern CA was the worst in the world for several days last week, and it was only since yesterday, Monday, that I began to see pockets of AQI <100 air (yesterday in the 70s and this morning in the low 50s) and that the all-enveloping “campfire smell” permeating the air began to dissipate a bit. 

In the almost-seven years that we’ve lived here, these fires, by far, have felt the most threatening to us. With the Camp Fire a couple years ago (the largest in state history), it was far enough away (~100+ miles) that we never thought it could come to us, but it was nonetheless bad enough that the smoke fouled our air for days, to the tune of extracurriculars being cancelled, outdoor recess being cancelled, races being cancelled, and the like.

In the past week, the SCU Lightning Complex has reminded us that simply by virtue of living in this fine state, we’re all vulnerable to fire-related disasters. 

Staying abreast of the fire updates meant that I’ve used Twitter more in the past five days than I have in the past four years, and that a group of neighbor friends and I were texting fast and furious about potential evacuation plans, our interpretations of the latest fire updates on Twitter and facebook, and our anxieties and fears in navigating everything as we tried to figure out whether we were all freaking out too much about nothing or not freaking out enough. My phone was basically glued to my hand for the better part of a week. A couple things here: first, I’m grateful for my neighbors and that we live in a fantastic little community. Second, Twitter remains an impressive timesuck. 

Perhaps it’s no surprise that all the feelings of desperation and helplessness that I’ve felt in the past 24 weeks jumped even more so in the past week. I mean, a pandemic is bad enough, but now we’re layering fire-related issues on top of it? The pandemic has forced us all inside, except that we can go outside, provided we do it safely, donning masks and staying physically separated from others … but then the state’s on fire, and people’s homes are in danger, forcing them to leave … but if you have nowhere to go, or no one to whom you can turn, you have to make the gut-wrenching decision wherein you weigh your immediate health safety (by vacating the fire) with that of your long-term (possibly contracting COVID-19 from strangers at evacuation centers) … oh, and right, many schools in the area began their new academic year in the past week, so all of this is occurring to that backdrop … and it’s just a lot. 

It’s a lot to process, it’s a lot to be sad about, and it’s a lot to feel helpless over. 

So what’s a person to do? 

My take: aside from financially supporting individuals or donating to vetted organizations that are fulfilling people’s immediate needs, the best, most long-term decision that we can make is to vote. 

Vote for people who give a damn, for people who may not be able to, say, actually prevent lightning from striking (as it was the thousands of lightning strikes that set off all these fire complexes up and down the state), but people who will vote in ways that will help ensure the health and longevity of our planet. 

We have the power to vote for people who will create a government that doesn’t fail us when a pandemic happens, for people who will no longer turn the other cheek when yet another Black, indigenous, or person of color’s quality of life is so profoundly worse than that of his or her white counterpart, simply because the BIPOC person had the misfortune to be born in a “worse-off” ZIP code.

We can vote for people who care, who know better, and who can make better happen.

I know this is a running blog, and you’re not here to read my political ramblings, but here’s the thing: the personal is political, always, and I think this year has finally awakened the masses to this point. Surely we all miss something from our precious “previous lives” that we held just five months ago: going to friends’ homes, hugging people, going grocery shopping, running in huge training groups or lining up at a race on an autumnal Saturday morning with a thousand-plus of your new best friends. 

Even the mundane shit has taken on an air of nostalgia by now. And to my earlier points about the fires here, about distance learning or what your kids’ education is going to look like this fall (or more broadly, this academic year), and about the profound differences in quality of life standards for BIPOC individuals compared to that of their white peers: it. all. boils. down. to. politics.   

Everyone is going through something right now, and admittedly, some people are going through more than others. That sucks, and it’s a terrible reality. 

The past four years, and specifically, the past 24 weeks, have exposed such profound misgivings about the current administration in ways that are so fundamentally transparent that to deny seeing them is less a matter of ignorance and more a matter of delusion. 

I cannot fathom what could possibly be going through people’s heads on November 3 this year if they continue to vote for more of the same. Here is the point in my blog when I’d say that if you hold different beliefs than mine — which is great! — I’d welcome you to come on a long run with me so we can talk about it, but alas. Our current reality precludes it. 

Please stay safe with the ongoing fires, local friends, and please don’t hesitate to reach out if my family and I can help you with anything. And as always, all my love to other parents who are holding up the ship in this weird-ass time, as well as all the medical professionals, educators, and all essential personnel for all their thankless labor right now. I genuinely look forward to the day when your workload diminishes. xo

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On occupying time and settling mental unrest

Reading. Motherhood So White was awesome. I finished it after last week’s entry, and like I said before, it’s eye-opening. Sorta related: I saw something in the past week that said that Netflix was bringing the show Sister Sister on soon. I would love to re-watch that show (for the first time in 20+ years…) knowing what I know now from reading MSW. Queued up now for me is Eloquent Rage. 

Listening. Simply because I only ran about 10 minutes a day for most of last week, I haven’t listened to much. However, the most recent SWAP podcast talks a lot about PM 2.5, which is particularly timely for those of us whose air has been affected by smoke in the past week. Otherwise, I haven’t listened to a thing. (Again, the backlog grows). 

Running. It has been over a week since my kids have played, ran, or biked outside due to the poor AQI score, and understandably, they are getting pretty restless indoors. In the interim, they’ve been doing yoga and some HIIT-type stuff, but “it’s not the same,” which I understand. Once we’re in the clear, we’ll resume G’s 5k training, right around week 8 of her 10-week program, if I recall correctly. 

My running dropped off precipitously last week as well, which was predictable, given the poor AQ and my not willing to drive elsewhere to run and not having access to a treadmill. I will be the first to admit that it made me a little antsy and likely irritable — I really look forward to my run time every day and the feeling of accomplishment I have afterward — but I tried to redirect my feelings and put everything into perspective. I may be pissed or feeling unsettled because I didn’t have my outlet (for as long as I like to have) for most of last week, but my family is safe and my home is still standing. A lot of people can’t say the same.    

More fun virtual running that’s not necessarily racing unless you want it to be. Last week I talked about Oiselle’s Womxn Run the Vote Relay that’ll be taking place at the end of September, and this week, I learned about a couple additional virtual races that sound awesome. The lovely folks at Run She is Beautiful have partnered with a Santa Cruz-based, 100% volunteer-led organization, Finding Sophia, to host the Santa Cruz Stronger Together 5k or Community Workout this week. It’s only a six-day long fundraiser, but it’s fulfilling a timely need: “to support individuals and families whose lives have been displaced by the CZU Lightning Complex fires.” It sounds awesome, and I’m planning on participating and supporting.

Another fun virtual challenge for a good cause I learned about in the last week is the Running for Office Virtual Challenge. It’s aiming to “[mobilize] the electorate to #exercisetovote for the 20 days leading up to the 2020 election,” and it sounds awesome. There are three challenges — with the culmination being a 2 mile time trial — and part of each entry fee will be “donated directly to America Votes to protect every American’s right to vote and help advance progressive policies across the US.” Count me in!!!!!!! 

And last one that I can’t remember whether I’ve talked about or not already: the Big Sur Marathon Foundation’s Big Surreal throughout the month of September. I signed up for this one already, since I was originally planning to race Big Sur in April, and I think this month-long challenge will be a blast (provided our AQ improves). In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m not really into virtual “racing,” so to speak, but I do want to continue to support races and organizations in this weird year we’re in simply because I want them to survive. Plus, if races couple with a cause that I believe in, it’s a no-brainer. 

69 days (9 weeks, 6 days) until Election Day. 

Stay healthy and safe, take care of yourself and others if you can, and keep reading and listening. xo