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Bottling runs

Bottling runs

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve always enjoyed writing. More often than not, writing helps me process things and helps me move beyond minutiae, forcing me to think big picture, to identify problematic or encouraging trends, and in general, to just give me a sense of perspective that can otherwise be drowned out by incessantly thinking in the here-and-now, micro-level shit that I am wont to do.

In these regards, whether officially or not, I think writing has helped me tremendously as a runner. Since 2007, I’ve kept some iteration of a training log–either something handwritten or, more recently, something (or somethingS) digital–and as is to be expected, seeing recaps of my runs laid out before me gives me a sense of perspective that I’d otherwise lose. If I have a week of bad runs, but three weeks of great runs, without my little written artifacts, I’m probably going to remember the shittier stuff more than the good: crappy but true. Fortunately, my written records rectify (hello, consonance!) this.

With my pregnancy, as I’ve written before, I’m basically running without expectations, and it’s as liberating as you’d expect it to be. I no longer have hard-and-fast weekly mileage or speed goals, though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still have some very, very, very soft goals that I somewhat try to hit each week. Even with this current state of expectations-free running, though, or rather, perhaps because of it, I’m finding that the runs that I get to post, the ones that surprise me for some reason or another, just floor me beyond belief, and all I want to do is bottle them for future revisiting.

about to do the final ascent up Monument Peak in early Feb. with (r-l) CJ, Yohann, and Saurabh [PC: Yohann]
about to do the final ascent up Monument Peak in early Feb. with (l-r) CJ and Yohann [PC: Saurabh]

 

I guess *this* was the final ascent. :) [PC: Yohann]
I guess *this* was the final ascent. 🙂 [PC: Yohann]

 

MP #2 [PC: Yohann]
MP #2 [PC: Yohann]

 

Making an active attempt to bottle my runs–basically, to force myself to remember how great I felt or how strong I felt or what my leg turnover felt like or whatever, during whatever week or stage of pregnancy I’m in–I think will help me in the long term, especially as I’m rebuilding strength and speed postpartum. Bottling runs is like my way of having this ongoing mental (or written) conversation with myself wherein I remind myself how good/strong/fast/whatever I felt right now so that I have a reference point for the future.

I think this notion of bottling runs is a compelling connection between all runners, regardless if you’ve been doing this stuff for a long time, if you’re just starting out, or if you’re revisiting running after a prolonged absence. For those of us who have been here before, sometimes we continue to run because we always carry with us the flood of positive memories from earlier runs, from runs where our paces and strides felt effortless, where our attacking ascents and descents on beautiful and crazy-ass trails felt like second nature, or where we finished an incredibly intense workout feeling like a million bucks and fully expecting Olympic t&f coaches to be banging down our doors to enlist us on next year’s team (what, you don’t envision yourself running in the Olympics?? your pants are ablaze!). For newer runners–and we’ve all been there–I think many of us want to have those types of experiences I just described; we want to feel as effortless or fast or strong or whatever as possible because we know in our heart of hearts that if our friends (or family members, or whoever inspired us to get out there and try this running stuff in the first place), that if these people can do it, then we sure as hell can, too. We just have to convince ourselves of it and work our ass off to get there.

I’d argue that this somewhat revisionist history that we, or at least I, seem to have with running more often than not works in our favor. It gets us out there day after day, it brings us back after time away, and like journaling our daily runs and workouts, it gives us a sense of perspective that teaches us that lots of things are possible, should we choose to believe it and think more long-term than immediate gratification in our running.

 

another early morning ascent with CJ and Saurabh, this time a touch faster! #smallvictories [PC: Saurabh]
these three pics (above and below this one) are from another early morning MP ascent with CJ and Saurabh this past weekend, this time a touch faster and feeling a touch stronger! #smallvictories [PC: Saurabh]

 

 

Realistically, I know that pregnancy will eventually (and dramatically) alter my running more than it already has, and so far, I feel pretty at peace with that. If anything, it’s making bottling the good stuff that much more important to me these days. 🙂

running without expectations

running without expectations

Comments 4 comments

I’m fairly certain that we’re already in or are quickly rounding bases into the second trimester, which is exciting for all the obvious reasons. Particularly as it relates to my little blog and to the “runner” part of me, rounding second has been super exciting because it has been within the past few weeks that I’ve begun to feel more like myself and that, namely, going for a run has become part of my routine again. And let me tell you– it is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

I alluded to this in an earlier post, but some of my most cherished memories from my running have come from the miles I logged when I was pregnant with A between 2010-11. Sure, running while pregnant and having to deal with the fun things like ever-growing knockers (which always sound like a lot of fun until it actually happens, and then it’s just a huge pain in the ass), an ever-growing belly that arrives at places before the rest of you does, or, at the time, running so many pregnant miles during a Chicago winter and having to contend with snow and ice with a body that was no longer exclusively mine… but … but … I’ll tell you why it was awesome.

Snowmaggedon in Chicago in '11 was the last time I was on a treadmill. Snow running rocks... but less so pregnant. Pictured here: lovely LSD. (cred: Chicago Tribune)
Snowmaggedon in Chicago in ’11 was the last time I was on a treadmill. Snow running rocks… but it’s a touch more challenging pregnant. Pictured here: lovely LSD. (cred: Chicago Tribune)

 

Running while pregnant was awesome because it was one of the few times in my running tenure wherein I wasn’t training for something so much as I was just running for the hell of running. I knew I’d get bigger, and heavier, and slower, and that of course, all those challenges would affect my running over the subsequent months of my pregnancy.

This is the thing, though — I didn’t care.

Every day, I found myself a little more pregnant than I was the day before, so whatever I could do that day–if it were a 4 mile run at 9 minute miles or a 3 mile run at 13 minute miles in ankle-deep snow–they were all victories. They were all like little milestones, uncharted territory into which I had never yet ventured, and the feeling of excitement and joy and, let’s be honest, pride, was pretty cool and were feelings I hadn’t really experienced in several years since getting into marathoning back in ’07.

Not many of my friends have children, especially my female runner friends, so this concept might be a little hard to grasp. Both with A and now, with kiddo dos, running while pregnant, and being able to celebrate the sheer fact that I feel well enough to do it, makes me think a lot about when I was marathon training for the first time. Every weekend, a long run became a new milestone. I had never before run 10 miles… and then suddenly, I did. I had never before run a half marathon… and then suddenly, it happened. I wouldn’t even drive 20 miles if I didn’t have to (god, I sound like my father), but guess what? I ran the damn thing. Willingly.

Even though I’ve been pregnant before, the novelty of being able to run while pregnant with kiddo dos hasn’t worn off, nor do I think it really will. Pregnancy is such a cool and weird-as-hell process. You really have no idea how you’re going to feel each day, regardless of how you felt with previous pregnancies (if you had any) or even how you felt just the day before. Just because I ran through almost all of my pregnancy with A doesn’t mean that I think I’ll be able to do the same with kiddo dos. I would absolutely love to, don’t get me wrong, but these days, I’m running without expectations… and it’s just lovely.

If, on a day that I penciled in a run, I wake up and feel like a million bucks, you better believe that I’m that girl running down the streets or trails here with the biggest shit-eating grin on my face that I’m feeling well enough to be able to run.

shit-eating grins are the best. On a run in Willow Glen last Saturday to promote the 408k. (cred: Bertrand)
shit-eating grins are the best. On a run in Willow Glen last Saturday to promote the 408k. (cred: Bertrand)

 

from Saturday's 6'er with fellow Wolfpack Isaac (right) and a Taji 100 supporter (cred: Bertrand)
more of the shit-eating variety. from Saturday’s 6’er with fellow Wolfpack Isaac (right) and a Taji 100 supporter. Hoka should pay us for the free advertising. (cred: Bertrand)

 

And if the contrast happens, if I wake up and feel like ass on a day that I would have liked to run, then no matter. I’ll try again tomorrow. NBD.

While I wouldn’t necessarily recommend that everyone get pregnant just so they could try to run through their pregnancy (because wtf, who would ever say that?), I would say that for me at least, it was nice back in 2010-11 and then again, in 2015, to have this little phase in my running that has been punctuated less by training for a killer marathon PR or distance record and more by just simply running without expectations, just running for the hell of running, just running because it makes me feel normal. I think some people achieve this phase by not signing up for an event for a while or by not wearing a watch and simply running by feel or by doing something outside the same ol’ routine, like switching from roads to trails or vice-versa.  To each her own. At the end of the day, even though I know the postpartum comeback will be arduous, it is pretty refreshing to just run (and hopefully soon, race!) simply because running rocks, regardless.