Running Ruminations

COVID has brought life into a weird relationship with time, where everything seems to be progressing both incredibly slowly and nauseatingly quickly …simultaneously.

Add to the COVID backdrop the (public, private, communal, individual) reckoning related to police officers killing George Floyd (among many others, unfortunately, like Breonna Taylor or Ahmaud Arbery) and the subsequent sudden, crisis-level, ubiquitous emergence of Black Lives Matter, and hot damn, when we talk about “living history,” I think last week was one for the books.

And as I said last week, I’d argue that it’s a good thing. I should be talking to my white daughters about why Black Lives Matter and what they and we can be doing to make this world a better place for our Black and POC brothers and sisters worldwide and specifically here in the US and SJ. All of us should be talking, listening, learning and committing to change because all of us are imperfect and live in an imperfect society.   

That said, talking to your kids about police brutality, or racism, or why Black Lives Matter (and what that means) can be a little more fraught than talking to them about something a bit less nuanced, like, say, why they should not lick streetpoles (or other stupid and gross stuff kids do). I’m not a parenting expert, nor do I want to tell other people how to parent their kids, but I’d argue that all of us should be talking to our children candidly about all of this stuff on developmentally-appropriate levels. My four year-old doesn’t necessarily know what “racism” or “white supremacy” means, for example, but she does know what it means when something is fair or unfair. Obviously it’s not the same, but it’s a start, and we can continue the conversation as she grows up. My nine year-old understands everything much more profoundly, so we’ve been talking about everything a lot more and in better detail and nuance. She has also been reading about it in her issues of The Week Junior, so she has the contextual understanding (or at least the beginnings of it) to know that none of it is an isolated incident.

I believe that we owe it to our kids to try to break or at the very least, diminish, the insidious racist and white supremacist cycle that has predated our (parenting or otherwise) existence in this country; inaction here is complicity. The conversation can’t change if we don’t bring it up and talk about it.

Having the conversations (plural), doing the internal work, educating ourselves (and our progeny), financially supporting organizations and/or individuals doing valuable, meaningful work in the field so we can all do better — I think all of that is more valuable than simply throwing up a black square on IG or making a grandiose statement online. Theatrics are just that after all, theatrics. 

So when everyone is going through a reckoning about how so many of our brothers and sisters in humanity have been treated — how we, ourselves, may have been inadvertently, unknowingly, unconsciously treating them — and millions of people are continuing to get sick and die of a novel coronavirus, as has been the case for 13 weeks, how the hell do we talk or read or write about anything else?

Conveniently, as is the case with running and marathoning: we pace ourselves.

We cannot burn ourselves out because the work is too important; our commitment must be lifelong. Something, every day, will be more far-reaching than a lot all at once and then nothing for indefinitely thereafter. Be the tortoise, not the hare. 

So here we are, thirteen weeks into COVID-dominated life, and SJ began to “open up” a bit last week, with last week Friday being the first day that in-person retail and al fresco dining could open. My family and I aren’t chomping at the bits to go out to eat or go shopping in an enclosed space with tons of other people (tbh that sounds like hell rn), so life around these parts hasn’t changed a lot. For my eldest, mid-week last week we learned that her swim team would be resuming practice soon (contingent on permission from the health department) with all types of modifications in place, so she has been counting down the days until she can be back in the (outdoor) pool. Swim lessons for the youngest can’t yet resume because of how high-contact it is between students and teachers (since they’re in the water with the kids, versus the coaches being on deck for team practice). It was also within the last week that the county announced that families can spend time with other families with whom they don’t reside, preferably outdoors, socially-distanced, and in very small groups (like two families together, tops). It’s all a start and comes at a pretty good time, too, since the kids’ last day of school was last week Friday. 

Camp MOM is in full effect! 

On occupying time and settling mental unrest: 

Cooking: If the front half of COVID was all about tacos, I think I’ve transitioned from that delicacy to homemade hummus. I feel like my blood is part hummus at this point. It’s so good (falafel, too, but that’s more work). However, I have to give a hard pass on dessert hummus; I was sad (also very pissed!) that I lost an entire can of chickpeas to that effort. Never again.  

Running: My running continues to be of the however long I want/however fast I want/whenever I want mentality, which is just lovely. Wolfpack is having a monthlong elevation challenge in June, so it has been fun to try to go a little out of my way each day to get some hills in … or not, again, depending on how I feel. A’s 5k training is going well, and she just recently began cracking 3 miles on our runs together. She’s about to have her run/walk ratios change, too, so it has been pretty cool for her to see how she’s getting faster and stronger. She wiped out on our run on Monday and got a small road rash from it, but she got up and finished, bloody knee and all. Some days are harder for her than others — as is the case for any of us — but she has kept at it. We’re at about week 7 of a 10-week program for her. I’m so proud.

Oh! And good news: Janet and I began running together again last weekend! That was another item that the health department said was ok (exercising outdoors with people with whom you don’t reside, socially distanced, that sort of thing). I know that some people had already begun exercising with their friends (or that they hadn’t stopped… ), but I didn’t want to take any chances and played by the rules all along. It has been *so* nice to be back with her!! 

Last week Boston also announced that the rescheduled September date was cancelled — making this year’s race a virtual endeavor — which, while not surprising, was still gutting to a lot of people. Who knows what will happen for Boston 2021 (or any races in the early parts of the year, for the matter). Global Running Day was also last week, but in the big scheme of the aforementioned personal/individual/global/societal unrest surrounding Black Lives Matter and COVID, it seemed like it wasn’t nearly as big a deal as it usually is.  

Listening: So many podcasts, not enough time. I especially recommended the most recent episode of Keeping Track with Alison Désir,  and KT’s earlier episode with Sally Kipyego. The most recent three or four episodes on NPR’s Code Switch podcast were also really interesting and pretty heartbreaking. Lauren Fleshman and Jesse Thomas’ Work Play Love most recent episode was pretty fascinating, too. I’ve added a handful of new podcasts to my queue within the past couple weeks, but if you have some to share, please do! (I think I will need to start running doubles daily so I have an opportunity to hear them all, unless I will just begin wearing earbuds constantly around my kids, ha). 

Reading: I didn’t know who Samantha Irby was, but when I saw her newest book of essays (Wow, No Thank You.) on my library’s ebooks homepage, I thought eh, what the hell, I like essays. She is so funny, and disgusting (in the best possible way – I mean, my heart goes out to anyone who has to write about inconvenient bowel habits because damn, I get it), and honestly I looked forward to going to bed each night because it was the last thing I read before shutting my eyes (and I tried to muffle my laughter each night so as to not wake up my better half). I’m also now in the process of reading Me and White Supremacy, Between the World and Me, and Mindy Kaling’s Why Not Me?, tempering the heavy with the light. I hope that I can finish all of them before they’re due because other people are waiting for them (good, but dang! Pressure is on). Oh, and I also subscribed to Layla Saad’s podcast but haven’t listened to it yet. The kids and I knocked off another few novels in the last couple weeks, too — mostly Beverly Cleary stuff and Bean & Ivy books — and I’ve been doing a deep dive into age- and developmentally-appropriate more diverse lit beyond the stuff they’re most familiar with. (There’s *so* much good stuff out there, much more than I knew about).

Stuff Your Kids Can Do: Make some bath bombs. It’s messy (good for outdoors) but fun, and it makes bath time a bit more entertaining. Summer project? Sure. We did it during homeschooling, too, and they had a lot of fun with it. 

Looking Forward to: …tomorrow (Thursday) ARP opens!!!!! I am so excited to go back to run there!!! 

Have a good rest of your week, stay healthy, be well, read and listen, and take care. xo

In any other normal time of life, we’d usually be marking Memorial Day as the beginning of summer, and we’d be excitedly counting down the remaining few days of school. In these parts, this time of year is usually when we begin having ridiculously HOT weather and when beaches, water parks, and amusement parks (as well as nearly anywhere with great air conditioning) all look reeeeeeeally good. 

Of course, we’re still far from normal times, as we’re in the thick of COVID life (week 11 here, but who’s counting), and basically all of the aforementioned is still off the table. There are some exceptions — like being able to go to the beach but not sunbathe (or put stuff down) — but by and large, at least in SCC, all that stuff (public pools, waterparks, splash pads, and the like) is still off-limits. From what I can remember, as of a couple days ago, the entire state is now in Phase 2, and some counties (none in the Bay Area) are creeping toward Phase 3, marked by the very exciting developments of being able to go get “personal hygiene and grooming” done. Services that require coming into close contact with people’s faces, though, such as eyebrow threading or waxing (or whatever) or facials, are all still offline.  

Oh, and effective last week Friday, in SCC and in SJ specifically, folks *have* to wear masks when they’re out in public, though if you’re exercising outdoors, it’s not necessary. The caveat, of course, is that if you’re hiking/running/cycling/whatever outdoors and you go to a park that’s frequented by others, then it’s strongly urged (or maybe even ordered? I can’t recall) that you have a mask on your person that you can easily put on if you find that you don’t have ample space to physically distance yourself from others on the shared path. 

Got all that? If you’re confused and can’t keep everything straight, you’re not alone. 

And as it pertains specifically to my family, my eldest’s principal hosted a videoconference the other morning to field questions from parents, and of course people want to know what next school year is going to look like. (This makes me think of my grandma, RIP. She had this ongoing joke that my grandpa always thought she could read his mind or somehow always know the future when the reality was [of course] that she couldn’t. One year, we got her a crystal ball candle from Spencer’s as a joke. I think Spencer’s could make a killing on crystal balls right now). How in the world is the principal supposed to know what next school year is going to look like when she doesn’t even have the power to know what tomorrow or next week is going to resemble? This stuff continues to be hard for everyone. Everyone wants answers, some clarity, a modicum of confidence, but no one can give it because we’ve never been here, with this, before.  

In addition to the principal’s videoconference, the district office is currently surveying families to get feedback from how distance learning went this year and to learn about which supports, resources, and the like families still need (or need to have continued access to) so their children can be successful with distance learning. It’s very challenging to imagine a (physical) school environment that’s in accordance with CDC guidelines pertaining to COVID-combating sanitation and health, so it seems all but promised that distance learning will continue in some manifestation for next school year. We’ll see. 

Here’s a funny story: with both girls being in school full-time beginning next year, in the past six months, I had finally begun to update and revamp my resume for the first time in many years. My original grand master plan was to still be the primary parent tasked with doing all the kids/school stuff but pick-up a local job during the school hours; the assumption was that with both girls in school, I’d have all types of time on my hands. (HA!) I might not be able to get a job closely aligned with my degrees, but just getting out there, getting my feet wet, and putting myself out there again would be a good start for this transitional period of life… and then COVID hit, and yeah, I don’t see any sort of outside employment happening if I’m going to continue to educate my children part- or even full-time. Again… that crystal ball… 

Regardless, I think we’re definitely at a place where complacency and COVID-fatigue is beginning to rage within people. (Again: it’s a virus, it doesn’t care that you’re tired of it. I get that that is so hard to hear, but still, I think we all need to remind ourselves of this from time to time). Maybe it’s just a coincidence, or maybe it was simply because of the Memorial Day long weekend, but I’ve observed way more group gatherings on runs, rides, in parks, and the like than I have in the previous weeks. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d also love to go run with friends right now, or go run in parks that require that I drive myself there, but I’m choosing not to; the idea that we’re having “physically distant” runs or rides or whatever with our closest five friends is garbage. That’s just me, though; to each her own, I guess.   

Fortunately, as has been the case for the previous ten weeks, my family and I are supremely lucky to continue to be healthy and well during all of this and hope that all’s the same for you and yours. 

On occupying time and settling mental unrest:

Watch: Bohemian Rhapsody. I don’t know why it took me a couple years to see it (because I most definitely wanted to see it when it came out), but man I loved this. A and I have been jamming to Queen for the past week on our thrice-weekly runs together, too.  

Read: The girls and I knocked off another Beverly Cleary book (Henry and Beezus), started another Cleary work (Henry and Ribsy), started Ivy and Bean, and I’ve continued to make progress on Dr. Murthy’s book (Together) and also picked up Mindy Kaling’s book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (though I may have read it before but can’t seem to recall).   

Run: I enjoyed last week’s down week after a super voluminous and hilly week the week before, and I’m planning for this week to also be a down week in advance of Wolfpack’s month-long elevation challenge in June. Somewhat miraculously, I think I’ve finally found a rhythm that is sustainable for my ancillary work — something that I’ve been terrible at doing consistently in the past — and that stuff will definitely become even more important if I try to get stronger and faster a la hills and climbing in the next month. In the absence of racing, doing little virtual challenges, like the elevation challenge, with my team has been a lot of fun. My training continues to be of the “training for life” variety, with very little planning ahead of time, and it’s liberating and one of my favorite parts of my day.  

A’s 5k training is progressing well, and this week she has bumped up her run/walk intervals from 3/2 to 4/2; she’ll also be bumping up her time from 30’ to 36’. We got our first taste of really hot running weather over the past few days (like 95-100+ degrees), but it looks like we’ve only got a day or so left before it breaks for cooler temps and (dare I say) rain. And in the interest of helping out my fav local races and the RDs whom I adore, I signed-up A for the virtual Mermaid Races challenge for late June, adding to the mix of she.is.beautiful, Wharf to Wharf, Girls on the Run, and Big Sur’s JUST RUN challenge. 

Eat: Just like most people, we’re still eating at home a ton, though lately I’ve been less motivated to cook stuff than I have to simply pull whatever we have from out of the freezer. Over the weekend, though, I got a little inspired to create and made some pesto, a homemade Dutch Baby pancake, some mushroom zucchini taco mix, a spinach-chickpea saute, and today, yogurt banana bread. Remarkably everything has tasted pretty good, so I can’t complain.  

Hang in there, friends; take care; be well; and stay safe. xo