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Back.

Back.

I didn’t have some overarching plan as to when I would stop prefixing my blog entry titles with “COVID, week #,” but after *finally* getting to fly back to the midwest last week (twice! Once with my girls!) and see (and hug! and smooch! and cuddle!) with my parents and sister and her family — combined with yesterday’s official “reopening” of the state of California — it seems as good a time as any to begin to transition. 

I say that knowing that just a couple hours ago, my NYT push notification alerted me that the US has now officially lost more than 600,000 people to COVID. Tragedy is an understatement here.

Even with California’s reopening, I haven’t noticed a lot of change in my day-to-day life yet. Of course, I have no crystal ball here, but I don’t foresee a lot of change coming from SCC anytime soon. It seems that my county has been among the more/most strict from the get-go, and even with our very high vaccination rates and very low test positivity rates, I can’t imagine that the health department will re-open the floodgates anytime soon. 

I guess just like with any of this for the past ~18 months, time will tell.

A week or so ago, I took a planned whirlwind trip back to the midwest, solo, for my oldest nephew’s high school graduation party. Prior to this trip, I hadn’t seen anyone in my family in real life since January 2020. We text and video-chat often — typically weekly, if not more — but I was really looking forward to seeing everyone in person for all the obvious reasons. I hadn’t been away from my family for that long, ever, even when I studied abroad, went to college out-of-state, or moved all the way out here. I’ve always had a date on the calendar to which I’d look forward to seeing my family. 

Not having that during most of the last 65 weeks of the pandemic — not knowing when I’d see my family again, assuming that I *would* see them again, that is — really sucked and was incredibly difficult.

If you’re still in it, my heart goes out to you because it was really, really tough. 

My Friday night red-eye got me in on early Saturday morning, and in just a few hours’ time, I got to spend most of the day with my sister and her family (and my brother-in-law’s extended family); my parents, one of my cousins, and even my great-aunt who’s *this close* to 90 and seems to be defying the aging process every time that I see her. 

with my cousin and my sissy. sorry if this pic appears enormously; something’s up with the formatting.

with the graduate – and looking mighty, mighty tired!

isn’t vaccinated life great?!? with my parents and my ageless aunt (actually, I think they’re all ageless. Hope those genes carry over!)

It.was.amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I flew home early Sunday morning to get back to my own familia before the work week began, and before we even pulled away from the curbside pick-up area outside baggage claim, the girls and I started planning our return to the midwest … that night, about twelve hours later. Another red-eye flight. My sister and mom hatched the idea, and they are very hard people to tell“no.” 🙂 

here we go, here we go again

The kids and I took the same red-eye flight I had taken Friday night, so come Monday morning, it was all quite familiar, ha. The girls were beyond excited to finally see their cousins, grandparents, and auntie and uncle, and they had a blast with them all week long. (Save for the cicadas. Luckily, they weren’t where my family lives, but when we went to the Columbus Zoo, that area was swarming with them. They are completely innocuous — just unsightly as hell — but whoa. Encountering swarms of them is a sight to behold).  

Starting our summer with family whom we hadn’t seen in over a year was fantastic. Even running there for a week, in its uncomfortably soupy and hot conditions, didn’t really faze me as much as it usually does. Honestly, I was just so happy to finally be together. 

Plus! My in-laws will be coming to visit us here, back in SJ, in the next few days, for a couple weeks, making life continue to begin to feel even more “normal” than it has been for the past ~65 weeks. We also haven’t seen them since early 2020. 

It’s like all of us are entering reunion season together.

With this year being the make-up year for the 2020 Olympics, we’re just days away from the Olympic track and field trials beginning in Eugene, Oregon, in the newly remodeled Hayward Field. (I’ve run there! So cool!) There is crazy depth to nearly every event, particularly on the women’s side, making it super hard to predict who’s going to make which team. (If you especially love following women’s running, I cannot recommend enough that you subscribe to Alison Wade’s Fast Women newsletter. It’s free [though you can support her work via Patreon], and it’s absolutely one of the best pieces of writing I read each week). 

And then, just earlier this week, the running world was rocked with the announcement that Shelby Houlihan, a fan favorite and someone highly favored to make the 1500 and 5000 team (and an American record holder for both events), was served a four-year doping ban for testing positive for nandrolone, a prohibited, anabolic steroid, in December. She is blaming a pork burrito she consumed from an “authentic Mexican food truck,” and despite her contesting the ban, trying to maintain her innocence, the Court of Arbitration of Sport (CAS) ruled her challenge unsuccessful and has thus provisionally suspended her. 

Her emergency press conference on Zoom a couple days ago brought all of this to light, as well as an absolute avalanche of queries, speculations, and for many fans, a terrible pit in their stomachs as we’re all trying to ascertain what the fuck just happened to a highly decorated athlete, one who refuses to run in carbon shoes because she wants her performances to authentically and “purely” reflect the parameters of human performance. 

It’s pretty terrible, for sure. 

That said, I don’t have an opinion because I don’t have all the facts. 

If the allegations are true, it is pretty spectacularly gutting and a huge blow for our sport, of course, and especially so during an Olympic year, with the trials literally days away. 

If the allegations aren’t true, it is nonetheless gutting (albeit for Shelby, and for other clean athletes whose clean samples may come up falsely positive due to testing limitations, sensitivities, or what have you), and I feel terrible that this athlete’s career, name, character, all of it, have been drug through the mud and will be detrimentally affected for the rest of her life. 

Either way, it sucks. 

On my run earlier today, I was in the thick of the South Rim switchbacks listening to Dr. Megan and David Roche on their most recent SWAP podcast, and I think their quick-take on the subject of Shelby’s suspension is spot-on: start with love. Start with compassion. 

We don’t know what we don’t know right now. 

None of us know all the facts, and until (unless) we do, it’s not our place to rush to judgement. 

We’re talking about a human being and her life/name/character/career/everything, and internet sleuths’ detective work are pretty irrelevant, when it’s all said and done. 

Granted, it’s not always easy to start with love — it makes me think of my prior dean’s insistence that we “start at yes” with our students —  since we’re inherently emotional creatures, bound to get all fired up about situations, regardless if we have all the facts at our disposal.

But: we should. Or we should at least try. We owe it to ourselves and to each other.  

BioFreeze San Francisco Marathon 5k & Second Half Marathon Race Report (July 2019) – SF, CA

BioFreeze San Francisco Marathon 5k & Second Half Marathon Race Report (July 2019) – SF, CA

Though I had known since winter (or thereabouts) that I would be running the BioFreeze San Francisco Marathon in late July — in what would be my sixth year as a social media ambassador for the race and my fifth go at the marathon course — I didn’t particularly begin training for it until the fam and I were in the midwest in mid-June. Back in the day, I used to run marathons in back-to-back fashion, so I figured having ~6 weeks between MTB and SF would be more than enough to train and race both well. 

good times in Ojai to Ventura

Aaaaaaaaand yeah. For whatever reason — and I have my theories — training in Illinois and later, in Ohio, for the six weeks preceding SF this time around was extremely difficult. After a lot of reflection (and a lot of text messaging), I made the decision to step down from the SF marathon and instead take on the second half. Even though I knew stepping down was the best decision in the figurative and literal long run, I still felt somewhat conflicted about it and as though I were squandering the opportunity that the race gave me. 

post-very (very) humid LR in Ohio

The kids and I arrived back in California just a couple days before race weekend, making the weekend feel like it came fast and furiously and seemingly, out of nowhere. This year’s race weekend featured a 5k shakeout race on Saturday (in addition to the usual one on Sunday), so come early Saturday morning, I hauled north to SF to run the 5k for fun before working at the expo from 12-5.

Sandwiched between the Saturday 5k and working all afternoon was meeting up with Chicago friend Erin and her husband for tea; I hadn’t seen Erin since she was last here in ‘14 to run the race, so it was really great to catch up. By not having a marathon staring me down on Sunday morning, I wasn’t worried at all about running a 5k on Saturday, hanging with my friend, and then being on my feet all afternoon. 

loved catching up with Erin B. on Saturday, post-shakeout. we go all the way back to Boston ’09 training in Chicago


super fun meeting many (but not all!) of this year’s ambassador crew before/during/after the shakeout on Saturday. You know you’re in SF when it’s late July and everyone is wearing long sleeves. (PC: Elysha)

Meeting up with many of the other SF ambassadors on Saturday pre- and post-shakeout was really sweet. Anne and I were both doing the Saturday shakeout for fun (and both running the second half on Sunday), so we simply smiled the miles on Saturday and ran our mouths all morning long. It’s so funny how the internet has made the running community so small and personal. 

catching-up with Anne throughout the 5k shakeout was just the way I wanted to begin the SFM weekend.
evidently I’m very excited to see someone. gotta love the black tops/black bottoms “i’m wearing a leotard” look
clearly, Anne and I are taking the shakeout seriously (jazz hands and dance arms for everyone!)

Helping Elysha and filling in wherever I could made the day go by really quickly, and by 5pm, I was beginning to lose my voice after talking to runners all day long in the screenprinting booth (which was a bit of a hot mess but still pretty fun, except that one time an angry runner accused those of us in the screenprinting booth of discriminating against him and threatened “to tweet about it.” (SMH)).  At any rate, it’s pretty impressive how many people come from all over the world to run one of the SF races, and it’s very cool to see so many people so amped about running. The enthusiasm is contagious.

Given that I wasn’t running the marathon on Sunday (and doing the requisite 3am wakeup for a 5:30 start), I opted to drive back home to sleep in my own bed and simply do the SJ-SF drive twice, instead of crashing at Erin’s for the weekend. The late 3am/early 4am wakeup two consecutive days wasn’t as bad as I anticipated, and not having any time goals at all for the half really lifted any pressure to perform; I simply looked at the race as a long run — perhaps my first for XC and CIM training — surrounded by a whole lot of friends. I didn’t care how fast or how slowly I ran; my only purpose was to run. 

Anne and I easily connected again in Golden Gate Park before the race’s start, but since we had different race plans (she to pace a teammate to a ~1:34, me to simply smile the miles and finish), we parted ways as we entered the corrals. Prior to race day, I hadn’t done a long run since my 20-miler on July 11th, and my weekly run volume had been quite low when I was in Ohio due to a whole host of reasons (weather, childcare, helping my family, all good stuff). I knew that I’d be able to cover the distance aerobically, but in terms of my pace, I had no idea and figured I’d post around a 1:50 fairly comfortably. 

There was a time in my life when I’d intentionally register for races and run them all as training runs or workouts, but it’s not really something I’ve done in recent history, probably because I’m more judicious with my time and finances than before. There’s no doubt in my mind, however, that running the second half for fun was the right choice to make; I knew I wasn’t in any real shape or fitness to speak of, and I didn’t want to wreck myself for no real good reason. I planned to simply try to smile during every single mile and enjoy the SF course in an entirely different way than I usually do when I race the marathon. 

somewhere in GGP in the earlier part of the course

As far as I can tell, the second half’s course this year is the same as it has always been during the previous years when I’ve run the full. Just like last year, this time around, we didn’t loop around Stow Lake, and we spent nearly half the HM running in what seemed like never-ending, dizzying back-and-forths in GGP. I swear that sometimes it seems like running in GGP is akin to running in some weird Twilight Zone dimension; I always feel like we spend so much time there (especially during the marathon!) that one of these days I’m going to drop a birthday while we’re in there. 

I was so eagerly waiting to be spit out from GGP atop Haight Street because I knew I’d see Erin soon (and because it’d mark about the halfway point); once I saw her walking her dog, I didn’t hesitate and zoomed over to the left side of the road to accost her with a huge, sweaty hug. Any time I’ve seen her during the marathon, I’ve only given so much as a wave or a holler; this time around, since time wasn’t an issue, I made a full detour and stopped to chat for a few. For real! I stopped mid-race to talk and just let my Garmin keep running. What a way to run! 

ERIN I LUV U THIS MUCHHHHHHH (PC: Erin S.)

It’s hard to give much of a turn-by-turn account of what was essentially a training run dressed up as a race — especially since the course was the same that I’ve run several times now — but it was fun, and all the usual water stop groups were out in force on what was a strangely warm-for-SF and sunny day. I repeatedly thought I’m so glad I’m not running a marathon today and I’m so glad I turned down that 1:45 pacing opportunity throughout my 13.1 sojourn, making me even more confident that I had made the right decision; it was great to only be responsible for myself and no one else. My body felt tired way earlier than usual — that’s what happens when you train very lightly, kids! — but there was nothing on the line; no A, B, or C goals; nothing. Just run. 

looks like another shot from somewhere in the never-ending GGP

I wanted to enjoy my supported long run, and I did. I squeaked in with a 1:49, right around where I figured and I would, and I both started and finished the race with a smile on my face. It was a pretty straightforward and victorious morning. 

Seeing Elysha, ambassador manager extraordinaire, in the finish line chute was delightful. Clearly I’m still taking all of this v seriously. (PC: Elysha)

Shortly after I finished, I headed over to Marketbar to take advantage of the VIP Party (breakfast! A change of clothes! Real bathrooms!) and eventually met up with Meredith, who had run the 5k, and her friend, Katie, who had run the first half. They graciously gave me a ride back over to Erin’s, where I’d hang for the afternoon at her baby non-shower shower. 

costume change & Erin (Erins?) time (PC: Martha)

As usual, seeing many friends over the context of a race weekend was energizing (4am wakeups be damned), and when everything was said and done, my cup felt very full. Suffice it to say that I slept very well Sunday night.

The SFM has held a special place in my heart since moving here because it was through the ambassador program in ‘14 that I met some of my first friends in California. Because the running community here is so small — and social media makes it even more so — the networks formed from that initial ambassador program have led me to even more people throughout the ~six years my family and I have lived here. If I wanted to, I think I could probably trace many of my current CA friendships back to that ambassador program, Kevin Bacon-style. 

I know we should never say never, but I think 2019 will be the last time I run SF for a while and participate in the race’s ambassador program. I think it’s time that I share this special race’s love with others and let someone else experience it for herself/himself; it’s kinda the same way I feel about not returning to Boston for a long time (share the love! Let someone else take a turn!). Plus, pragmatically speaking, as my kids get older, and our summers become more full, training in earnest for a big mid-summer race is getting harder to manage. Impossible? No. Challenging? Extremely. 

By virtue of being a loyal runner (having run the race, in some capacity, in ‘10, ‘14, ‘15, ‘17, ‘18, and now), I earned a special “loyal runner” medal at the race, in addition to the one from Saturday’s shakeout 5k, Sunday’s half, and also in addition to the 5k+HM double medal (that I failed to pick-up, whoops). If you’re into collecting race medals, SF is usually a pretty good bet. As usual, the race offered a quality long-sleeve technical premium, and runners also had lots of opportunities to get additional premiums (such as beanies, arm warmers, or quarter zip-ups) based on which discount code they used during registration. I really like the quarter zip I earned from the ambassador program and foresee using it during the winter running months. 

I think this race does a great job of taking care of its runners (and its ambassadors), and I think it’s a race that’ll continue to improve over time. Probably the most noticeable change in this year’s race was switching from nuun to Gen UCan, and holy moly, my stomach and I sure were ecstatic for that!  

Obviously, the second half marathon has a fraction of the elevation from the full (#math), but I think it can still be conducive to fast times, particularly if you’re accustomed to undulating courses. We had weird, warm weather this year, but usually it’s much more mild and is probably the only late-July race in the entire country where you can find runners routinely wearing long sleeves and tights. (No doubt they were hot this year). 

SF’s a fantastic and difficult race — arguably one of the most challenging marathons I’ve ever done — and also one of my favs. There’s something to be said for working really, really hard, and this race (and any of its distance offerings) sure is an excellent avenue for that. 

It’s a little bittersweet to run a race knowing that I’m not planning to run it again anytime soon, but my several years’ worth of race memories from SFM are quite fond. I’m grateful for the experiences for sure.