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May 2018 training recap

May 2018 training recap

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May was just as I had anticipated it would be: full. In the absence of racing this month, I did a lot of other high-quality stuff: lots of marathon training mileage, of course (posting just shy of 200 miles, about 196 and change) but also quite rewarding and gratifying non-running stuff, too.

While I wasn’t racing, I was instead going to the land of the mouse to celebrate my eldest’s 7th birthday, hosting my in-law(s) at my home for the whole month, doing lots of prep work for my eldest’s Girl Scout bridging (sort of like a promotion from one level in GS to the next), and helping out a lot at school with all the end-of-year stuff that comes at the end of an academic year. Add to the mix lots of freelancing again, and it felt like the month ended just as quickly as it started. Somewhere in the middle, I might have blinked. Maybe. All of that combined with raising a feisty almost three year-old and yeah, the days are long and years are short or some such nonsense. It’s all a blur. At least it’s a good blur, anyway.

not running

Really, I have zero complaints with how this month fared, especially as it relates to running. I took more rest days than I planned, simply due to our time down south at the beginning of the month, but no matter. Experience has taught me that walking around for 10+ hours for a few days in a row confers comparable benefits as does running easily for 30-60 minutes each day. (I still always bring running clothes with me, in the event that an opportunity presents itself, but I sorta assume that it’s not going to happen).

I don’t exactly know how to describe it, but I think May helped me to turn a corner on all this post-stroke stuff, too. I wrote something similar back in April, but I felt it even more in the past month. The passage of time has a way of helping with these things in that regard. I’m at a point where I can safely say that I will go for days on end without thinking even a fleeting thought about it and that, more often than not, when the thoughts do arise, it’s more a statement of fact than one that precipitates a shit-ton of anxiety or a meltdown.

Case in point: when my eldest is at swim practice, I run laps around the school campus. Coincidentally, this often puts me directly across the street from the hospital where I was admitted. I think I’ve said it in this space before, but for a while, even seeing the hospital was gut-wrenching (which was also horribly inconvenient since there’s a great Baskin-Robbins nearby). Fortunately, for the most part, nowadays when I run past the hospital repeatedly on my Tuesday and Thursday night runs, I don’t feel any different a reaction upon seeing it than I do upon encountering any of the other multitudinous businesses and establishments along my way. It’s there. That happened. Move on. It’s little, but it’s big, if that makes any sense at all. I don’t want to particularly think or talk about this anymore.

post swim night mileage. she loves her little parka she got for her bday 🙂

What, no doubt, has helped facilitate these corner-turning feelings has been my running this past month (and the continued passage of time, surely). Running is great for the cardiovascular and physiological side of things, but shit, it sure does wonders for lots of other messy (mental) stuff, too. It was sometime during the past month where I began to feel my confidence returning. Showing up and doing workouts that made me literally laugh out loud — how do I run that?! — and running hard and consistently on fatigued legs, not being intimidated by the prescribed volume or intensity, helped me regain a sense of accomplishment, pride, and really — bottom line — confidence that the stroke compromised a few months ago. I totally, absolutely, wholeheartedly get that as far as strokes go, I got super duper lucky, but that said, that doesn’t change the fact that my world got turned upside down and inside out a million times over there for a while. The mental side was rough, to say the least. Running does so much for me mentally — as it does for so many of you, as well — and I’m just elated as can be that both it and the general passage of time have helped me inch beyond everything.

from a Sunday LR with Janet in the ARP foothills above SJ. Downtown SJ is about at 3 o’clock (and nearly centered)

We do this stuff to feel strong, and regaining the feeling of strength after being robbed of it (for whatever reason) is pretty powerful stuff.

That feeling — of promise, hope, opportunity, potential, second chances, however you want to label it — is indescribable.

easy ‘hood miles are the best

The month of May, and its concomitant miles, gave me plenty of opportunities to have those feelings again and all but think to myself I AM HERE (no shame in this game).   

Where I am now is as good or better a place I would have hoped to be going into my first marathon of the year. Honestly, I couldn’t have been/couldn’t be happier.

I’m not particularly interested in comparing my current fitness level to that of yesteryears, but at this point, I can say that I like how I’m feeling and that it excites me. Aside from the usual workouts during the week, the long runs on the weekend — which have often been in ARP, in Janet’s and my neck of the woods — have also been tremendously helpful. Marathon runners will often say that the most important run of the week is the LR, and I’d take it one step further and say that if you’re returning to running after time away — for injury or just due to life, in general — one of the best ways to re-enter the sport, to get strong again, to up your endurance, and a whole host of other attributes, is by doing as much of your LRs on trails as possible. They are tremendous equalizers and injury mitigators and can do such incredible stuff for your mental muscle.

This feeling that I have suggests that things seem to be clicking. Workouts and long runs (the latter with or without built-in workouts) are both fun and challenging, which can sometimes be an elusive or precarious combination. I’m just thrilled to be training to do this marathon rodeo again for the 32nd time in about 8 weeks from now.

and as we get closer to TSFM weekend, it has been fun to put on my ambassador hat and go spread the love! here, with another ambassador, Jason, up at A Runner’s Mind – Burlingame at a Thursday night fun run

It may make for boring blog fodder to say that things are going well and that I’m happy where I am, but … sorry. My head’s in the ground and will be there for a bit longer, seeing what we can unearth along the way. Bear with me.

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Revelling: New category! I’m still reeling from going down to Ventura a couple weekends ago to spectate at the Mountains to Beach marathon from Ojai to Ventura. It’s a hefty drive from SJ, about five hours +/-, but it’s a hugely popular marathon and half among Bay Area runners. It boasts something like a 700’ net drop (though punctuated with some ascents along the way), and I went down to cheer on many teammates and friends who’d be toeing the line. My friend, teammate, and coach Lisa ran the half (and did great, sub 1:26, notching our club’s master’s F record); my teammate, friend, and training partner Janet killed it in her debut marathon with a 3:26 (and got a sturdy BQ in the process); and I got to see Chicago friend Erica finish her 47th marathon (and score another BQ, too). Many more teammates and friends — like Hannah (sub-3 for her debut marathon), her fiance Phil (2nd place OA), Jenn (first sub-3), Tiffany (sub-3:15 and close to her PR, earning another high master’s level marking in our club), and Melissa (first sub-3) — just killed it out there, and it was so deeply inspiring to watch. I hung out at mile 22 (after seeing Lisa in the half around mile 11) and just had a blast cheering and cowbelling for my teammates. Entertaining Janet for her final 4 miles was also a treat. It was a good day for so many people, and I love that I got to experience a little bit of everyone’s celebration. I’m grateful my sorry ass didn’t cry because these things make me emotional. YAY RUNNING.

Wolfpack and friends pre-race dinner in Ventura. Phil (front, next to Hannah) went on to place 2nd OA at the race, and our other fella, Jonathan, went 3 flat. Such a fast group of humans, holy shit!

 

of course only Lisa looks like she’s out for a fun run when she’s running a 1:26 half. NBD (from ~mile 11)

 

A fast herd of runners – Hannah in black on the left, Jenn just steps behind the group in red, and Melissa up there, too, in blue (all sub-3 and very high placing overall).

 

Tiffany looked strong AF at mile 22! She caught me so off guard that I completely spaced on her name, haha. Sub-3:15 (3:13) and posting our second fastest master’s F record in the process.

 

Running with Janet over her last 4 miles was great. I tried to do that delicate balance of being entertaining and distracting without getting her to the point of wanting to knife me. (I still got a ride home, so I think I was at least moderately successful). This is from the last 1/2 mile or so of the course as it hugs the shore.

 

always such a treat to see Chicago Erica when she’s here! I hadn’t seen her since I was about 20 weeks pregnant with G, back in 2015. Erica did great, and it was when I was waiting for her at the finish line that I got all teary. 🙂

Reading: May had a lot of good stuff. Deena Kastor’s Let Your Mind Run (recapped here) was excellent and one that I would all but implore every runner — particularly distance runner — to read. Maria Shriver’s I’ve Been Thinking was meh, not really my style. I was genuinely surprised at how much I liked Jim Comey’s A Higher Loyalty simply because after reading Hillary’s book last year, I didn’t think I’d be able to stomach anything coming from him. (If you’re even minutely interested in politics and the shitshow that is Washington right now, I’d recommend reading it. It is fascinating and at times, tragic). Michelle McNamara’s I’ll Be Gone in the Dark about the Golden State Killer was equal parts awful and fascinating to read — how are some humans capable of doing such horrible things? — and reading it just weeks after the alleged killer was apprehended — and not long after McNamara, herself, died — was borderline creepy. Bonus creepy factor: the GSK’s slayings in SJ were relatively nearby, and I’m about 90% certain I’ve run by the homes several times. (!!!!) Finally, I finished Scott and Jenny Jurek’s North and loved it; the review is in my drafts folder and is forthcoming. The running lit world is … lit (not sorry) right now.  

Listening: No new music that I can remember in the past month, but a couple podcasts stand out to me: the longest shortest time’s interview with Cecile Richards and sounds like an MLM but OK’s special episode related to NXIVM. The former, with Richards, was really interesting and made a traffic-riddled drive bearable, and honestly, the latter, about NXIVM, was just weird AF. I have so many questions.

Watching: With my MIL staying with us for the entire month, C and I have had more date nights than we’ve had in a while (hooray!), and somewhere in the mix, we got to see a Deadpool 1 & 2 double feature. I won’t elaborate on my opinion about the new movie, in an effort to avoid spoilers, but I’ll admit we had a good time.

and that thing is still in my pencil pouch purse, unopened. I just noticed that person behind me putting her (his?) down into the t-shirt, hahaha

Anticipating: Once school ends, the girls and I will be heading to the midwest to see family for a few weeks, which will be great. While I’m there — in the thickest part of SF training — I’m planning to do a couple races, too. Change of scenery is always fun! *cough don’t get lost cough*

mother’s day 2018 = an excellent morning long run with Janet followed by most of the day in pajamas. yes, please

Writing: Lots of freelance stuff this past month but not much in this space, unfortunately. Between EOY obligations at my daughter’s school and her GS troop, my writing here suffered. I should perhaps consider committing to a post-a-day challenge or something. Maybe…

Dreading: Nothing comes to mind right now, aside from annoying insurance issues. All that BS I talked about last month is still up in the air and will be so until late July, until my “investigation” gets “finalized” er whatever (and in the interim, we started receiving collections notices, blerg). At the end of last week, I also finally had that super obnoxious test done that my GI ordered, the one that necessitated me eating only plain white rice for 24 hours before the test and then fasting for 12 hours the day of the test, all before going to the actual appointment, sitting around for more than three hours, not drinking or eating anything (and not being allowed to nap), and getting my breath analyzed every 20 minutes. Who the hell knows at this point. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

May was great, and I’m looking forward to all that June has to offer. 

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw 

April 2018 Training Recap

April 2018 Training Recap

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The difference a month can make is pretty incredible. In my March training recap, I opined that all month long, I was hoping that things — running and life in general — would continue to feel like normal and that I could put all the “stroke stuff,” for lack of a better phrase, behind me. A month later, now heading into May, I am ecstatic to say that as far as I am concerned, life is — and feels — normal.

normal.

A mental shift occurred sometime this past month — fortunately — because until then, as irrational as it is, I often entered each weekend feeling a bit anxious and scared and just stewing on the fact that OMG X number of weeks ago today was the stroke. X number of weeks ago was when everything got upended. It was as though I was dreading each Sunday because it was on a Sunday that the stroke happened, as though somehow, Sunday rolling around each week again was going to put me at a greater risk for future strokes (irrational, right?). (Imagine what it must have felt like to drive back to Sacramento, on a Sunday, for a race in early April, since that was the same setting just a handful of weeks earlier when I actually had the stroke). Anyway. Sometime this past month, some sort of transition happened. I went from sorta fearing the weekends to a couple days ago, on the last Sunday of April, actually looking at a calendar and realizing oh. It has been 12 weeks, three months in a few days. Okay. I don’t want to overstate the importance of this mentality shift, but I have a hunch it’s pretty damn important for my post-stroke psychological recovery. It’s beginning to feel less like it happened and more like it was just a weird-ass, very life-like dream.

hello to downtown SJ behind us, from Sunday’s 18 miler up in the ARP foothills. It wasn’t until I was home and done with this run that I realized that for once, I hadn’t at all stewed over the otherwise mundane fact that it was a Sunday. I smell progress. (PS, people in this picture are training for marathons, Ironmans, a World Championship 50 miler and representing a country in the process, and a 100 miler! I feel like a slacker)

…that is, until I talk to insurance each week. The insurance company and I have this completely ridiculous song-and-dance routine that consists of me calling them each week, usually on Thursday, to find out the status of a bunch of outstanding claims. I am literally on a first-name basis with two different insurance reps at this point, women who are “handling” my “case” while things get “investigated” or “researched.” Eyeroll, eyeroll, eyeroll. As you can imagine, I satisfied our family deductible pretty quickly by being in ICU for a week, but because of some mistake somewhere — honestly, what I’m guessing amounts to someone’s clerical error — insurance thinks that I’m going to pay in the upwards of $15k out of pocket for costs that they are claiming were out-of-network but weren’t because of that whole emergent care detail that supersedes everything else. Yeah, nope. 

I am usually pretty excellent about compartmentalizing my life — be it family stuff, school stuff, Girl Scout stuff, stroke stuff, running stuff, whatever — but my weekly insurance call is the one time that I can’t *not* think about the fact that yeah, no, that stroke thing apparently wasn’t a dream; it actually did happen. While I luckily don’t have the physical repercussions from it, I still get to deal with insurance bullshit until The Unknown Person(s) gets their act together and fixes things. It’s so very annoying.

There was a time not that long ago when talking to insurance each week would wreck me and leave me pretty emotionally distraught; friends, let me assure you, you haven’t lived until you’ve cried on the phone with a health insurance company because you’re so enraged over someone else’s incompetence. I could go so long without thinking about or ruminating over the fact that this bad thing happened to me, but lo and behold, every week when I’d make this phone call, reality struck me in the face and reminded me that it wasn’t all a bad dream. In fact, for many weeks post-stroke, it would take the better part of the day the work up the gall to make the call to find out WTF was going on. Honestly, sometimes I’d only phone in if I were having a shitty day in the first place because talking to Those People all but promised to put me in a sour mood for the rest of the day. These days, fortunately, the tears have turned more to the direction of action (and anger, for better or worse), compelling me to stay on the phone on hold in the upwards of an hour+ if need be so someone, anyone, The Unknown Person(s), can get this crap straight. It’s amazing what we can accomplish when we’re put on hold, gang!

This whole ordeal is so, so frustrating and infuriating, but if bitching about insurance 3 months after having a stroke that could have ended me is the only thing that I’m complaining about, then I have it pretty good. It angers me to no end though that this is what we apparently have to do in the United States in the year 2018. There is so much that is so profoundly wrong with this situation.  

In other random bodily systems news, with our insurance switch in 2018 came all new providers, and included in that mix was a new GI for me. Long story short, she completely refuted my former GI’s microscopic colitis diagnosis, so in the past month, I’ve begun another battery of tests to figure out WTF is going on with my insides at any given time. So far it sounds like my intestines are about on the same level as that of a newborn; basically, my guts are just hyper little bastards that don’t ever apply the brakes when they should, amounting to a vicious eat-then-poop-eat-then-poop cycle all the time. You’re welcome. More tests throughout May should help elucidate things a bit.

filed under things I’d rather not do again: chug barium

But in the running compartment of my life — which is what we’re all here for, anyway, right? — April was really good to me. I posted just over 180 miles for the month (183), raced at the Sactown 10 miler, the Silicon Valley half, the Food Truck 5k (taking third!), and started building my long runs in earnest (on trails!) with Janet as she ramped up her MTB training. Meeting and running with Meb was as awesome as I had hoped it would be, too. Nestled in the mix of all my own running this month was my eldest daughter’s Kids’ Race at the Food Truck 5k as well as her first triathlon of 2018 this past weekend (RR forthcoming!), so suffice it to say that weekends were fairly busy, yet super gratifying, in mi casa.

from the kids’ race at the SV half weekend

 

finishing up a 16 miler in ARP and honing those ever-important “taking selfies while running” skillz

The end of April and beginning of May also marked the beginning of SF Marathon training, which is pretty exciting. I feel like I’m in a good place physically and mentally at this point and look forward to training and to seeing what I can do this cycle. Marathon training cycles can often be great teachers, and I’m just elated to begin the grind again.

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Reading: There’s a lot of really good stuff out there right now. I really enjoyed Endure and wrote a recap of it earlier in the month. Tara Westover’s Educated was also really good but also incredibly sad and pretty disturbing, if you ask me; honestly, I was pretty pissed most of the time I read the book (but I’ll refrain from saying anything so as to avoid spoilers). I’ve gotten through most of Meb for Mortals since Meb signed a copy for me and like it a lot as a solid resource for training, though it’s not exactly something you’d read all the way through as you would a regular book. In the past couple days, I’ve also started Deena Kastor’s Let Your Mind Run, which I’ve really enjoyed and will likely recap sometime in May. Maria Shriver’s I’ve Been Thinking has been satisfactory so far, and I’ve really liked Enlightenment Now, though I think I’m going to have to renew it several times before I actually finish it.

major life points unlocked

Life: Lots of running but also lots of fun and exciting family and home stuff was the norm for April: enjoying spring break with the kids at home; getting new floors and replacing our beat-up carpeting; flying down to LA to see my childhood BFF for about 18 hours; following along from afar the craziness that was Marathon Monday; and surely more that I’m forgetting. April was the beginning of the end of the school-year, and I think it just made everything feel as though it was moving at light-speed at any given time. Experience has taught me that if I think April is fast, just wait until May…

spring break, new floors, and QT in the kitchen (once there was flooring down)

Listening: Every post-Boston podcast I’ve listened to was just awesome, particularly with Sarah Sellers, Boston’s 2nd place woman finisher. I still haven’t made it through all the post-Boston episodes, but I’ve really liked those I’ve heard so far. I love how so many non-professional runners just owned the day and ended up finishing on some of the biggest stages of their lives. That’s just an incredible storyline.

Racing: April meant the inaugural Silicon Valley half and Food Truck 5k for me and the Kids’ Run for my eldest, as well as the Sactown 10 miler for me. I was going to run another PA race, the Stow Lake 5k at the end of the month, but opted to stay home and run long instead, which I think was the right decision, even if it meant missing the fun social opportunities that race day provides. Right now, I don’t have any racing plans on the calendar for May, just good ol’ fashioned marathon training. It’ll be great. Do I write weekly training recaps, now that I’m beginning training? Or just keep it in this monthly format? Does anyone even care? Decisions…

the blue hour’s my fav.

Watching: Anytime I include this section, it just makes me realize exactly how little TV I watch or how infrequently I see movies. It’s sorta pitiful. I am, however, looking forward to Deadpool 2 (is that even what it’s called?) coming out in May, and we already have double feature date night tickets.

Writing: A fair bit here last month with all the race recapping and book reviewing, plus a healthy volume of freelance stuff. It’s all feast or famine with the latter, and it seems to be freaking Thanksgiving right now, luckily.

Anticipating: Everything. It’s that time of year.

no fun to be had in the woods. no fun at all. (PC: Saurabh, I think)

Dreading: An obnoxious and super restrictive GI test I get to have done at the end of the month. Basically, if I understand it correctly, if I have diarrhea at all in the weeks preceding the test, that could alter my results (ok, so that’s already surely strike one against me). For about 2 days before the test, I can only consume plain white rice (and a bunch of meat and poultry that I wouldn’t eat) because … something about results getting skewed otherwise … and then the day of, I think have to fast for about 12 hours prior to the test. This will be after another test I get to do that’ll have me at the doctor’s office (with my two year-old in tow) for a good 3+ hours doing various breath tests to test for … something. I’m not even sure, to be honest. Sounds pretty rad, right? I swear I’m keeping the medical establishment in business.     

May!